You want me to do what.... for who?

Updated: Sep 29, 2021

No record of wrongdoings?

I Corinthians 13:5 (NLT) “… It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged”

Wow. This scripture is loaded with requirements if we are going to learn how to love. Love is not fluffy. Love is not easy. It is raw and gritty and hard. And I Corinthians 13 has been quoted and repeated by many with very few of us giving thought to how to really live out this scripture.

But what speaks to me is the end of this scripture “and it keeps no record of being wronged.” When I read this verse I thought God wants me to do what, with who. That’s impossible. My husband has wronged me. People have wronged me. I remember when, where, and how. I can’t just forget all of that. I cannot just pretend that what happened- did not happen. This scripture is asking me to do wayyyyyy too much.

NO record. Nope, I cannot do that.

Every time my husband hurts me, I will replay every other time he has hurt me. There were times where I would rehash every hurt with him and although it was painful for me because I lived it. It was even more painful for him because I had not forgiven him. Keeping a record keeps us in bondage. It freezes our relationships or our marriage in place and we cannot move forward because we are always looking backwards. It keeps us from fully loving one another and fulfilling this scripture.

I have to remind myself of the transformative love of God that has forgiven all of our wrongdoings. His Love towards us continues to provide us with the opportunity to get it right the next time. This is how we should love one another and our spouses. Just this past weekend, my spouse hurt my feelings. And I started down my rabbit hole of self-deprivation. And this scripture pulled me out of it. Instead of becoming irritable about having to discuss something I felt we should have moved passed, I did something I had never done in 12+ years of marriage. I just let it go. I did not bring it up again. I did not shout or yell or call him out of his name. I just let it go. And by doing that I was freed from being upset about something that was really small in within the scope of our marriage.

Loving like God loves, or like Christ loves the Church is hard. It’s not a hashtag or just repeating the same scripture over and over again. It requires self-reflection and asking ourselves what are we doing wrong and moving towards doing something different. Many of us are not able to be free because we have a long list of wrongdoings and we throw them in our spouses’ face whenever we feel like we need leverage. Real love does not need leverage!!!

Let go of the bags of wrong doings you are holding on too; so that you can love freely.




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