We can all be caught up in the fantasy of romance. Culture guides the conversation of relationship goals and we can easily believe that nice cars, houses, and jewelry should be a part of a healthy relationship. But when all those things fade away what are we left with? The basics of any relationship are trust and communication. Relationships that last have these two things. Of course, we want to have nice things, but no gift or amount of money can save a relationship that is not built on a strong foundation. We can spend a lot of time coveting someone’s else relationship. We say things like “Why didn’t my partner do this?” or “I wish they were a good gift giver” or “Why are we always arguing when so-and-so never argue?” All these questions do not fuel our relationships; instead, they drive us to idolize the wrong things. When we see our favorite couples in the news, when we follow their ups and downs, when we say that we want to be like them… where are we putting our faith?
Trust and communication are not glamorous terms. They incite in all of us a feeling or an emotion connected to some experience and we use that experience to measure everything else. Therefore, relationships fail. Because we have not forgiven ourselves or someone else for something so, we lack trust and the appropriate communication skills. We are looking for someone that can match our 5-star mentality, but we do not bring 5-star quality to the relationship. Building trust and effective communication skills are how we reach the relationship goals we desire. We can not create perfect posts on social media, buy lavish gifts, and think that our relationship will work. We must TAP IN to something greater than our looks and money. We must TAP IN to who we are and who we are called to be.
There is a popular song that uses these two words. TAP IN. Although the content of the song in culture means something completely different the words themselves mean the same thing. The real question is what are you TAPPING in too? Is it culture or Christ? Often, we tap into what others want us to be and we bring a falsehood of who we are to our relationships. This again leads to failure in our relationships. We would be remised it think that we can tap in and out of our relationship with Christ yet that is what a lot of us do. We tap in on Sunday, maybe for a few minutes in the morning and the rest of the time we live tapped out- away from God. We wonder why our life feels unfulfilled and we wonder why we have not found the right person to love us. James 4:3 provides us with context for this because we must check our motives as to what are we asking for and why? God blesses when we ask not for our desires to be fulfilled but so that it can bless others. When you ask God to bless our relationship are you asking so you can floss on others? Or are you asking because you know that if others see your relationship is blessed, they can have hope that their relationship will be blessed?
So… when it all…all falls…. Down… Will you tap into God and stay connected? Tapping in might be easy for some but staying the course is what requires work. When we see relationships fall in culture it should remind us of what is at stake for our relationships. It should remind us that trust and communication are the foundation of relationships and we need to TAP IN to something greater to fuel our relationships.